The first time he saw it he did not think anything about the mark on his kid’s arm. But when he found out what it was and how it got there, it all changed. In fact, as soon as he figured out what was going on, he started looking red! Why would the school be so cruelly shaming his son? He decided to pull the sleeve of his son up and took a picture to show others. Whoever felt it was a good idea should have been responsible for what his kid had gone through.
This Poor Boy Was Filled With Red Marks On His Arms Whenever He Returned Home After School
She Did Her Research
Tara Chavez did her homework on the schools in her part of Phoenix before eventually settling on the elementary school in Desert Cove. Before making this conclusion, she considered everything, and this was not a problem she took lightly.
She Did Her Research
Well-Being Of A Young Boy
She had to consider factors like cost, and class size, among other things. The key factor, however, was her son’s well-being. He was a gentle boy and she had to make sure he got fair treatment.
Well-Being Of A Young Boy
The School Sounded Perfect
Tara went to the school to attend many open days. She felt Desert Cove Elementary School would be good for her son so she finished the required documentation and enrolled the young boy.
The School Sounded Perfect
Controversy
She had no idea that when all was said and done, it was going to be a decision she would be sorely starting to regret. This mum didn’t think it would lead to controversy once! After having spoken out about her predicament, other parents also decided to stand their ground.
Controversy
Everything Was Going Well
It seemed like after one full term at Desert Cove Elementary School, all was going well. That made her husband sure that the school was a good match for him, Cayden had done well at school.
Everything Was Going Well
School Ethos
The school’s ethos resonated with the parents so they felt certain it was their little boy’s best place. In addition to that, their son respected his teachers. And they soon figured out that there was a big problem facing their little boy.
School Ethos
He Went Home Upset
Tara went to school after another day, to get little Cayden. She could tell as soon as she saw him there was something really wrong there. But exactly what was it? She just couldn’t put her finger on it…
He Went Home Upset
Bad Behavior
Immediately, she assumed that his fellow students, or perhaps even a teacher, were bullying her son. Tara also started to think that maybe her son was now a bullying victim.
Bad Behavior
Concerned Mom
She regained her composure and tried as best as she could to change his mood, so she told the young boy about his day. This concerned mom, like any other loving parent, was determined to get to the bottom of things.
Concerned Mom
The Mark On His Arm
Cayden just replied with a “fine” brusque and kept his eyes fixed outside the window of the car. Gently, Tara asked the kid if something had happened at school. He refused to give his mom anything more than another curt reply, though. It was obvious at that moment that he did not want to discuss something that troubled him.
The Mark On His Arm
Driving Home
So Tara felt it was best not to further nag him. She let him have some room so when they got home they decided to talk more about it. She noticed then a blue mark on his arm.
Driving Home
He Was Branded
She craned her neck to have a look at his arm at the thing. She thought at a glance that this was just dirt. A closer inspection however made it clear that this was not the case.
He Was Branded
What Did It Read?
Tara could just say that this mark had something to do with the reason her son was so down. Yet she needed the entire thing to understand too. Well, they do say the reaction of a mother really is correct!
What Did It Read?
She Feared The Worst
This mom had a lead on what happened now, but she decided to let the matter rest until they got home. She had to keep her eyes on the road, after all, until they got to their house.
She Feared The Worst
Angry As A Raging Bull
Even if she let that go, she ‘d been gripping the wheel so closely by now that her knuckles were turning white. She did so because she knew she would not be able to show her son how upset she was. You knew just that the person behind this was going to be in deep trouble. You don’t want Tara messed up!
Angry As A Raging Bull
They Held A Family Meeting
Cayden wanted to go straight to his bed as soon as they got home. Tara, however, promised he wouldn’t hide without telling them the whole story. She then called her husband, took a chair out, and asked her son to sit down.
They Held A Family Meeting
Perhaps It Was A Bruise
Mark, her boyfriend, raised the jacket for his son to look at the thing on his arm. Originally they thought it was a bruise, but it was just ink. Would the boy write to his arm? After seeing the words on his face, though, the worried dad knew this could not be real.
Perhaps It Was A Bruise
Written In Capital Letters
Cayden ‘s son has had two words. In thick blue letters the bold ink read “LUNCH MONEY”! Why was this imprinted on his arm? Who would do this sort of thing? Especially for a young child like this.
Written In Capital Letters
The Lunch Lady
Cayden then told them that it was the lunch lady who left it on his skin. It seems like she tried to embarrass the poor boy openly in front of the whole classroom. The more her parents heard what their son had to say, the more they got angrier.
The Lunch Lady
He Had No Choice
“I asked if he was given a choice by the lunch lady, and he said, ‘No, she just grabbed my wrist and put the stamp on,’”. Tara explained tearfully when she was being interviewed. She was saddened at just the thought of being humiliated by her son.
He Had No Choice
Social Media
Even though Cayden could still afford to pay for his meals, his account’s lunch money had run low. She felt even more indignant after the angry mom checked online when she saw that there were still 75 cents in there. Mark took a picture of the stamp and uploaded it to the web.
Social Media
They Humiliated The Poor Boy
“He was screaming and crying the entire time,” the worried mom explained, “He was humiliated, didn’t even want me to take a picture of it.” Of course, the most disturbing issue here was how ashamed the little boy felt about this.
They Humiliated The Poor Boy
Major Disaster
No wonder it made him feel bad, so he did a lot on his self-esteem. Normally, if the lunch money envelope was still running low the school sent an alert via email. Has the school ever messed up in this case though?
Major Disaster
It Went Viral
It didn’t take long for the post to make the Internet rounds. Well, after all we live in the digital age. The article ended up receiving hundreds of views and posts.
It Went Viral
Twitterverse
Many parents decided to stand behind the family and comments were poured in that Tara ‘s reaction was completely justified. “Like, y’all couldn’t send a note?” one of her friends mentioned.
Twitterverse
Comments Kept Coming
Another friend of hers asked, “Y’all couldn’t think for two seconds about the numerous references of branding someone as a stigma?” She really has a strong argument if you ask us.
Comments Kept Coming
Other Kids With Similar Experiences
“What kind of twisted person holds a child’s arm & applies a big, block-lettered stamp in black ink to their little arm?!!” And another netizen added. A number of people reading the post feel the stamp was simply “unacceptable.”
Other Kids With Similar Experiences
Loads Of Notifications
Another parent, not connected to the family or education, replied with a very angry response, “If a kid’s parents don’t have any money to deposit to the child’s account … do they just keep stamping the child every day? Seriously.”
Loads Of Notifications
The School Responds
Let’s hear what the school had to say on the matter anyway. Not long after the post caught much attention, Tara got an email. What did the school have to tell her about the matter?
The School Responds
They Denied The Claims
Stacey Orest, the principal of Desert Cove Elementary School, said the staff had no intention of humiliating the children with “reminder stamps.” She also explained to Tara that the workers at the cafeteria were “supposed to ask them if they want a stamp or a reminder slip.”
They Denied The Claims
Unhappy Parents’
However, Tara was not at all satisfied with the School’s clarification. The other parents who tuned into the story simply decided to ban the “reminder” stamps entirely. This really was no longer okay.
Unhappy Parents’
The Official Statement
The school district released a public statement about the incident the Monday after that. Becky Kelbaugh, the spokeswoman for the Paradise Valley Unified School District, said, “It was never the intention of Desert Cove Elementary School administration and staff to embarrass any student by using the stamp.”
The Official Statement
It Was Not The First Time
She continued, “Students were given the choice between a letter or reminder stamp. Going forward, Desert Cove Elementary School will send a letter home notifying parents of low lunch balances.”
It Was Not The First Time
Phoenix New Times
Besides that, she also informed the Phoenix New Times that the primary school will stop using “reminder stamps.” We are pleased to hear that they will no longer do this. The truth, though, is it wasn’t the first and only time that something like this happened.
Phoenix New Times
It Made His Blood Boil
Jon Bivens is the parent of a student in third grade who goes to Gardendale Elementary School. Not too long before this accident, a very similar case had occurred with his family. The young boy came home on his back, with something similar. Wait before you see what’s happening…
It Made His Blood Boil
Surprised
At first, this dad said he didn’t think much of it. ”I thought it was a good job stamp,” his initial nonchalance explained. Upon noticing that it was a stamp with these words, he changed his mind: “I need lunch money.” Jon was shocked because then he was told naturally.
Surprised
No Justification For This
Jon and his wife give their little boy packed lunches every day but every now and then let him buy the treats from the cafeteria. There was, though, something that really angered him, wait until you see what it was.
No Justification For This
Not Acceptable
It turns out that by the end of the term his son actually still had money left on his account! There was still a $1.38 balance in there when he was stamped. That was just not appropriate!
Screenshot 17
The Ethics Of This Practice
“They herd these kids like cattle,” said this infuriated father. His son was similarly “branded” by a school, he says. “When you start stamping a message on a child’s body instead of calling…it’s just not okay,”
The Ethics Of This Practice
Bullying
During an interview, he continued sharing his opinion by saying, “It’s a form of bullying and shaming the kids.” Do you agree that implementing a “branding” system in cafeterias is too harsh? What are you thinking?
Bullying
Greatly Humiliating
Desert Cove is a relatively affluent school — only 32 % of students are eligible for free or low-price lunches there. So it is easy to imagine that it could be a humiliating experience for them to sing out students whose account balances are low.
Greatly Humiliating
‘Lunch Shaming’
However, this is no reason that “lunch shaming” will lead students to miss meals entirely, which in effect affects their academic success and makes them more likely to retake a degree or need mental health advice
Lunch Shaming
Deeply Apologetic
Desert Cove Elementary School issued a message later saying, “It was never the intention of administration and staff to embarrass any student by using the stamp” They were deeply sorry about it.
Deeply Apologetic
Many Years Before
Though it was a system that had been in use for many years, they said the school would stop using the “stamping method” and only communicate with parents from now.
Many Years Before